So this isn’t something I’ve really talked about on here, but for the month of November, I am trying to go the entire time eating nothing but what I cook from scratch.  At first I thought it was going to be really hard, then I tricked myself into thinking it would be easy, then I realized I was totally up shit-creek, and then I remembered I can be a MOTHER FUCKING BAD ASS IN THE KITCHEN.

These are a few of the more impressive moments from this week:

• My own chips, with golden and red beets, fingerling potatoes, purple peruvian potatoes and miniature reds seasoned with gray salt and pink peppercorns,
• two loaves of buttermilk country bread,
• A 85/15 chuck steak hamburger with slab bacon, caramelized onions, horseradish mayo, chipotle barbecue sauce, and toasted sesame buns,
• Porkchops with an apple walnut stuffing,
• Dijon glazed, almond encrusted seared ahi steak,
• a quart or two of italian seasoned croutons from the stale ends of the aforementioned bread, and
• a batch of marshmallows, for hot cocoa prepared from cocoa shavings.

The real kicker is that I’ve done all of this at like, an 10th of what I spent last month on food, I’ve been eating like a king, and I (completely unintentionally) lost 8 lbs in the first six days.

So to the dicks I live with, keep calling me Suzy Homemaker, but I am gonna be cramming my skinny, not-poor faggoty face the entire month with the best damn food I’ve ever eaten, while you keep scarfing that Top Ramen like a pussy.